In the new issue of Rolling Stone Magazine, Nicki Minaj reveals that her ambition stems from a painful childhood.
“There’s this fear of not being perfect,” she says. “There’s some songs I just won’t write because I’m afraid of it not meeting my expectation of what I know that song could be. I don’t compete with other people, I compete with myself.”
“When I first came to America,” she says, “I would go in my room and kneel down at the foot of my bed and pray that God would make me rich so that I could take care of my mother. Because I always felt like if I took care of my mother, my mother wouldn’t have to stay with my father, and he was the one, at that time, that was bringing us pain. We didn’t want him around at all, and so I always felt like being rich would cure everything, and that was always what drove me.”
Minaj’s father, she says, had problems with drugs and alcohol, sold the family’s possessions for drugs, abused her mother, and once set their house on fire while her mom was inside.
“I remember there being a lot of arguing, lots of screaming — there were holes punched into the walls in anger,” she says, “and cops being called to the house all the time. I was disappointed in my father, I just wanted him to be Daddy and be the happy person that I remembered, and I was afraid, very afraid, that something would happen to my mother. I had nightmares about it.”
Her parents still live together, and her father isn’t happy about her airing his past — she rapped vividly about it on the early track “Autobiography.” “It’s the price you pay when you abuse drugs and alcohol,” she says. “Maybe one day your daughter will be famous and talk to every magazine about it, so think about that, dads out there who want to be crazy.”
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